Why does my dog squeeze into our hugs?

You hug your partner, and within seconds there is a nose, a paw, or a whole dog pushing into the middle. It happens in almost every house with a dog. Here is what research actually suggests is going on, and how to tell which kind of squeeze your dog is doing.

What the research found

In the first experimental study of jealousy in dogs, owners were asked to be affectionate towards a realistic toy dog that barked and wagged its tail, while ignoring their own dog. 78% of the dogs pushed or touched their owner, compared with 42% when the owner fussed over a toy pail, and 22% when the owner read a book. Many tried to get between the owner and the toy dog, and the researcher described them as seeming to break up the connection with a rival.

The honest part. That study used a toy dog, not a partner, and other researchers call the evidence for jealousy in dogs preliminary. Nobody has studied couples hugging directly. So treat the explanations below as the most likely reasons, not a certainty.

The three kinds of squeeze

1. Joining in

What it looks like: wiggly body, soft eyes, tail sweeping, leaning into both of you, maybe a play bow.
What it probably means: something warm is happening and they want to be part of it.
What to do: nothing needs fixing. Open the hug and let them in, or give them a fuss straight after.

2. Protecting the connection

What it looks like: nudging or pawing, pushing their body between you, whining or barking for attention.
What it probably means: this is the behaviour the jealousy research describes, a dog trying to keep your attention on them.
What to do: keep it calm and low key. Give them their own attention at other times of day, and if the pushing gets pushy, ask for a sit and reward that instead.

3. Feeling unsure

What it looks like: a stiff body, a hard stare, ears back, lip licking, or squeezing in and then freezing.
What it probably means: a hug can look like a tussle to a dog, and some dogs find two people pressed together unsettling.
What to do: step apart calmly, let them settle, and do not tell them off.

When to get help. If your dog growls, snaps or goes very still when someone comes close to you, that is guarding rather than cuddling. Never punish the warning. Speak to your vet and a qualified behaviour professional, especially if there are children in the house.

Three small things that help

• Give them their own moment. A few minutes of one to one attention each day means they are less likely to feel left out of yours.
• Invite them in on your terms. A family cuddle on the floor, where they choose to join, is lovely for everyone.
• Watch the body, not the push. A wiggly squeeze and a stiff squeeze look similar from a distance and mean very different things.

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